Thanksgiving 2015

We rarely got out of town for Thanksgiving because of weather. We alternate with Dustin's family every other year. On the off years that his siblings are at their in laws, we always host Russ and Lori at our home. I love the fall! I love Thanksgiving! It's one of my favorite holidays. I think I like it better than Christmas because it is less chaotic. 

We took photos for our Christmas card after dinner. And then we took some of Russ and Lori. I was grateful to get them. Pictures last forever. How else will anyone know you existed 50 years from now?

November 16th

November 16th is my wedding anniversary. A happy day for me. 12 years ago, November 16, 2003, was a different story.

Two days before, I had just got word that my dad was put in the hospital for dehydration. My father had been fighting cancer for 5 months. Two of my brothers, a sister-in-law, and I decided to make a quick trip from Salt Lake City to Vegas and surprise him. As I packed for that "quick" trip, I heard a voice tell me that this would be the last time I would visit my dad. The thought was not pleasant and I pushed it out of my head, thinking I was overreacting. I finished packing and waited for my brother, still thinking about the voice. He pulled in the driveway around 10 pm. ( yes, we were leaving that late!)

We arrived early in the morning of November 15th. I don't remember who let us in and I honestly don't recall ever falling asleep. I do remember getting to the hospital pretty early, so maybe we went straight there. My dad was in bad shape. He was bleeding internally because a blood clot had passed in his colon -he was suffering from colon cancer. While passing, it ruptured. They told us they were going to do surgery to stop the bleeding. We were all nervous. He was admitted for dehydration and we were expecting him to come home, but it didn't look like that was going to happen for a few days.

Pretty soon, the doctor returned. He asked us all to follow him. Those of us there were pulled inside a room. Something was wrong. They continued to explain that the bleeding was too great. If they cut my dad open, he would bleed out on the table. He would not survive the surgery. They told us they could try to keep him alive until all of our family got there. We were spread in 3 states! It would take a while.

I called Dustin. I told him to get the kids in the car and get to Vegas as fast as he could. I let him know what the doctor had said. He said, "Okay." He was on his way.

My dad was in the ICU. They had him in an induced coma so he would not be in any pain. His belly was big and swollen from the bleeding. It's hard to see someone you love in such a state. That tube down his throat did not look comfortable. I wanted him to be comfortable. The room was quiet, The beeping of his machines kept the awkwardness at bay. No one was talking. I'm not sure who was in the room with me, we were only allowed a few in at a time because he was in the ICU. We must have caught some one's eye because soon one of the nurses was letting us all in at the same time. She knew she was breaking the rules, but I think she sympathized with us. She shared our religion and knew how important it would be for us all to be there with our father as he was given a blessing and would soon slip through the veil.

Those we were waiting for arrived in groups. With each group she would sneak everybody in, even our little ones. With each group his heart rate would drop. We knew he was hanging on and fighting. My brother from Kansas City was the last to arrive, his heart rate was now around 50. It was almost 10 pm- twelve hours later! 

My brother, Mike, gave him a blessing of release from this life. We all say our goodbyes. As I tell him goodbye and that I love him, I can see tears coming from his eyes. He could hear us! He knew we were all there. He knew we loved him! When everyone was finished- all 40 of us- my mom signed the papers to take him off of life support. It was not easy for her.

We all stood quietly as we watched him. We watch his heart rate. It falls lower. I don't remember how long, or how many breaths, but  it took longer than I thought it would. Soon he was gone. We left his body in that cold room. He would not be coming home. He was already home. 

We gathered in a waiting room for quite a while, just talking. It had been a very long day.We eventually leave. We now had a funeral to plan. The whole process would take a week. Everyone traveled to Arizona for his burial. 

I was reading the program and noticed that it read: April 12, 1937 - November 16, 2003. I did not want to share that date with my father's death! What an awful thing to have to remember every year on your wedding anniversary. This made me sad, but also mad. My mind started to think about all that had just taken place. Soon, my heart was being softened. 

While my father was dying, I was a witness to several tender mercies of the Lord. 1)  It was the Holy Ghost that whispered to me, letting me know my father would be passing away. 2) We were blessed with a kind nurse who knew and understood what our family needed. She put all 40 of us in the room! 3) I did not have to wonder if my father heard my final words that I whispered to him. He let us know he could hear us by the tears running down his face. 4) My father was allowed to stay until we were ready to let him go.

Yes, November 16th has a sad part to it, but I choose to remember the good. It is the day when my family started. But, it is also the day that I absolutely understood that my Forever Family was, indeed, forever.

For our anniversary Dustin made reservation to The Roof. It is a restaurant that sits right next to the Salt Lake City Temple. The view is amazing! It was a great night!

Today Was a Pay Day

I was going to write about the policy change in the church that occurred over the weekend, but my mind hurts from discussing it over facebook much too much. Don't get me wrong. I love talking about things like this, but I would much rather have a face to face conversation with people. Facebook leaves me with anxiety. So, I want to write about something different all together. I will save the policy change for another time

On Sundays I make my kids work on their church programs: Duty to God, Personal Progress, or Faith in God. They only have to do one thing. But you would think I'm asking them to cut off their big toe. Kate and Becca were working in their Faith in God books. Kate worked in the "Living the Gospel" section. Becca was in the "Developing Your Talents."

Kate chose to write someone a letter. I got the letter. I don't know if it's because I'm the easiest, but I'll take it!

Dear Mom, 

I appreciate you because everything you do is for us like you keep our house clean, go to work, keep a roof over our heads. I respect you because you sacrifice a lot of stuff for us. You let us do fun stuff and cook and clean.And you have time for us. I love you so much.

                                                                                                     Love, 

                                                                                                        Kate

I don't know why I always expect longer letters, but I do. This one was short, but oh so perfect!! It made my heart happy today!

Becca chose to write a play. She had to choose a gospel principle to write about. She decided on modesty. I was curious as to what she would do. When your kids do things like this, it really gives you a chance to evaluate what they are taking in as you teach them.

The Modest Clothes

Narrator: Once in Minnesota, a girl was walking with her friend from school.

Girl 1: Hey are you going to Joey's party?

Girl 2: I don't know what the dress code is. If I did, I would know if I would go or not.

(I cringed a little to think my daughter wouldn't go some where because of the way she is required to dress and curious that a party would have a dress code)

Girl 1: The dress code is Bikini Time.

Girl 2: Are you sure? Ask Joey to send you a picture of what we should look like.

Girl 1: Ok...done! Oh, he already text back. LOOK!

Girl 2: I don't think I should go.
Boy: (walks up) Guys, are you going to Joey's party on Friday?

Girl 1: I am!

Girl 2: I'm not.

Boy: Why?

Girl 2: Because of the clothes we're supposed to wear.

Boy: Oh, come on!  Everyone is going and it's just 1 time!

Girl 2: I know, but it's not modest...Oh! I have an idea! I'll see you Friday!

Girl 2 walks in, all stare at her

Girl 1 : WHAT are you wearing?

Girl 2: It's a bikini...with another swimming suit under it!

Girl 1: Why are you wearing it?
Girl 2: Because I still match the theme, but I also get to be modest.

Girl 1: You're right and at least you are here!

The End

This made me chuckle. I was totally surprised at the end! I'm glad that my daughter knew that if she wanted to go to a party, even if those around her were not living her standards, she could still go and live hers. We live where 70% of the population is LDS. Most places in UT is around 50%. I was worried moving here. My growing up experiences were so different and I feel they really taught me what I want to believe. I sometimes worry that the Mormon culture is so thick, that my kids will miss out on that. So I'll take this as a win in that category! My daughter knows that she can be herself and live what she feels is right in her heart no matter what others think of her. And she knows that if her friends don't hold her same standards, that's ok. 

When your child recognizes your efforts as a mother and learns what you are hoping for, that makes for a good day!

Halloween 2015

This Halloween was different from the others. We trick-or-treated for an hour. We had only one child in tow. We have 6 kids...

We are those parents that give a "too old for Halloween " age. Our kids' last year for scoring candy from neighbors is 7th grade. In 8th grade they must find something else to do. I know many who would frown on this, but for us, it works. I guess if we got more complaining from our kids we might reconsider. Out kids have been okay with it so far. Grace is 8th grade this year. Her and some friends got together and ad a movie party. they had fun. Ryan was working. Aaron stayed home to hand out candy. The other three went out for candy. Becca and Kate chose to got out with friends, hence the 1 child who remained with us.

It's kind of weird entering this new stage of life. Our kids are big. They love us, but are okay to not be with us. At least Britten wants to be our little side-kick. I'm glad we have him. I still feel young when he's around! 

a mime

Batman (he would say, "Britten Batman.")

Robin

We did pick out our pumpkins this year. This was the only decent picture. Our pumpkin is a little sad. Apparently, the pumpkin crop was bad this year.