The BIG talk!
Okay, so we had "the talk" with our boys. Now, I share this so all you have not, can learn from our experience. Dustin and I had not sat down with eachother and discussed the things we should say to them(mistake #1). The boys were wathching TV with him, and the term sex offender was mentioned on the news. Ryan asked, "Dad what's sex?"
I was not downstairs, I was bathing the girls upstairs. Dustin called to me. He let me know what they asked, and said we needed to talk to them. I said okay, and finished bathing the girls. I did not ask him to wait for me, I thought he would(mistake #2).
I came down the stairs. All I heard was some very discriptive nouns about the male and female bodies(certain "parts"). He was explaining how they "become one" (this is not the way he said it). All I could think in my head was, "Fit together like a puzzle" over and over again. I had seen a Dr. Phil where he was talking about how to talk to your kids, and explained how kids under twelve or thirteen didn't need to know about where parts go and what they do.
I rounded the corner in time to see Ryan's eyes get big and his head thrown back in digust. Aaron said, "You mean the ____ goes in the _____? The man is inside...?"
I blurted out," You fit together like a puzzle. Heavenly Father made us to fit like a puzzle!" I was mortified! It has to be at the bottom of The Best Sex Talk With Your Kids List. Just above the parents who still explain it by the analogy of the birds and the bees( I still don't understand how that comes into play). So, they do know how it all works now. Ryan has informed me that he thinks that is the grossest thing ,and he is never doing that. I simply told him that there will come a day he will change his mind, when he's married and wants children.
So, what have we learned?
1. Discuss with your husband what you want to talk about. Maybe, even practice what you will say with eachother. I was going to say practice together, but that can be taken out of context!!
2. Let your husband know that you would like to be present for the whole discussion.
Wish you all the best of luck, as you too will have to do this!
7 comments:
Thanks for sharing. Sounds like so much fun. I can hardly wait for my kids to get to that age!
Oh my gosh I can't beleive your kids know whAT sex is thats so scary. I mean I just found out not from this post but other stuff. I was really grossed out about that it drove me pretty much insane. I wish I hadn't found out but people talk and things happen.
Whoa!! My kids won't be playing with your kids at the reunion this year.!!! Just Kidding!!! Tell Dustin knowledge is power, but be sure to stay age appropriate and vague until they ask specific questions. I think your kids were looking more for an answer like, "Sex is something that happens between a man and a woman after they are married." They are young enough they probabley would have been satified with that. The fifth grade maturation class is a great time to get more specific. Desert book has a great book as well, it puts a gospel spin on things. That is what is did for Kylea, although she informed me when she was in fouth grade that she knew what sex was. But from her comment she sounds like she has been scarred for life. So, who knows what the best way is. No matter what we do they will probably be scarred for life.
That's about how it went down w/Derek, too. I am not scared of having the sex talk w/my kids like some parents are. But, Derek was curious and got the low down from Dave w/out me present. We've had a couple follow-up conversations, and I think Dave did a pretty good job, but I wanted to be there! A great resource is www.valuesparenting.com. That's the Joy School website run by Richard and Linda Eyre. They have great suggestions on the first talk and when to have and what to say in follow-up talks. They may also have a book about it (title might be "How to talk to your kids about sex." I'm sure your boys will be just fine!
I am so glad you shared this info! I dread for the day to come! We have read the book that Lea Ann is talking about- it is REALLY good- a good gospel spin about the pre existence, and all that. Good luck with further discussions!! :)
Communication is key! Better dad made the attempt than to brush it off! Mom, we all live and learn; unfortunately things do not always go as planned! I enjoyed the chuckle though!
This is the Engleharts from the old Crestwood Ward. Question for you, do you live in Manti, Utah? If you do, please email me at Momovfive@aol.com...I have some questions for you. THANKS!
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