I have been selfish and concentrating on the fact that I feel awful and I'm tired all the time. A tired that I never knew existed! Yes, I have still been moaning about being pregnant.
That all changed today. I had a wonderful Sabbath day! Although, it didn't start that way.
My day started with crazy pregnant dreams. I am still dreaming of not being able to care for this addition to our family. They are creepy dreams. I always seem to forget that I had a baby. I don't feed it, change it. This time I let it squirm off the bed. My fears are to blame. Hopefully as they subside, so will the wacky dreams.
My day turned for me while in Sacrament meeting. A brother and sister from Venezuela talked today. Their accents are quite heavy, so you have to pay close attention. I'm so grateful for the Spirit they brought. They spoke of mercy and the love of God. Both based their talks off of talks from the April 2012 General Conference. You can read hers here. And his here. My spirit was fed to capacity. Dustin looked over at me and asked, "Why are you crying?"
I simply shrugged my shoulders, "I don't know." But I did know.
My days, lately, have been self-centered and ungrateful. I have been a bear to my husband and also my children. No mercy given, but much received- I am blessed with great kids and a wonderful husband. All have been kind to understand and recognize the way I've been feeling.
Gratitude has been absent. Of that, I'm ashamed. Look at all I've been given!! How could I let my bad attitude and narrow vision sour such a miracle?!
My God has given me everything I have. He has given me each moment of joy and lets me experience sorrow, so I can appreciate it. He is the Master of my very own plan and I wouldn't have it any other way.
-Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend." Mosiah 4:9
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