During conference, Kate asked me if a girl can be the prophet. When I answered, “No,” she seemed a little confuse and disappointed.
“Why?” she asked.
“Well, number one, the prophet has to hold the priesthood. And number two, he has to be called by God.”
This lead to, “A girl can’t hold the priesthood?” She’s asked this before when she saw her brother passing the sacrament. She wanted to do it too.
“No a girl gets to be a mom and have the babies,” I replied. I realize this is a watered down version, but I’m talking to an almost 7 year-old! “That’s her part,” I continued.
That seemed to make her happy for the moment.
I remember thinking like Kate. I remember thinking I can do anything any old boy could do. Why are they so important? Why am I not?
Then I learned something.
I learned how remarkable and noble a calling it is to be a woman. I learned this as a little fetus grew inside my belly. I learned this as I gave birth to that baby and had the most spiritual experience of my life. Five times I have had this opportunity. I am a co-creator with God!
Every day I am reminded how important my work is. When my kids need me to wash their clothes, help with math, give a hug to mend hurt feelings, or maybe a little redirection when a poor choice is made. It is vital that I am there. They rely on me. Who is going to teach them if I am not there? The world? That’s not what I want. I want to be in charge of the majority of ideas placed in their heads.
I find this whole feminist movement happening inside the church a funny thing. Women are unhappy and feel they are devalued somehow by what the church expects of them, or doesn’t allow.
I came across a blog long ago that really caught me off guard. The writer was telling her readers (they are many) that her son had just gotten the priesthood. She was lamenting this because she felt it was just another thing that he could use to say he (meaning boys in general) is better than a girl. Honestly, I wanted throw up! In a few years I would be in the same situation and I was so excited for Ryan! I couldn’t wait for him to wear his suit and pass the sacrament! I believed it to be a critical event in his life to becoming the man I knew lay deep within him. It made me wonder what happened in her life for her to believe what she did.
I am aware that there are men who do abuse their priesthood authority. It’s awful. But I also believe the greater part honor it, especially the leaders of this church. I have no doubt they are called of God and receive direction and revelation from our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I believe they love, honor, and recognize the essential role a woman plays in "the plan". They appreciate the fact they are nothing without us!
This same blog gave mention to Elder Cook’s talk during conference. The comments started out positive. But all it took was one. Nothing could turn the tide back after that. One negative comment led to another. Soon, nobody appreciated that talk and its purpose. I was beginning to wonder if we even watched the same conference! They jumped from speaker to speaker complaining of some phrase, little story, or even a word they didn’t agree with. Then someone asked if a woman had ever given the prayer in general conference. If it were Kate asking it would be different, but the text of this conversation was purely negative, so you get the intention.
Really people? Really? I think you missed the whole point of those messages because you were so caught up on some trivial matter that really didn’t matter!!!! I try not to judge. I know that a lot of people were not privileged to grow up in the home that I did. They may not have a husband who is the best example.
We, men and women, are equal in the Lord’s eye. This is taught through scripture as well as the leadership of the church. I believe there is some Mormon culture they are upset with. I can see that, but realize that is the expectations people have created themselves, not the Lord or church leaders. Maybe their intention is to rid the culture of the “molly Mormon” life. Please do because I know I don’t measure up. Let’s do it in the right way though.
Criticizing the men who direct this church is NOT the right way! Living your life as an example, being positive, recognizing the priesthood as the blessing that it is, and realizing male and female have two very DISTINCT and DIFFERENT roles to perform, IS the right way!
I will step off of my soap box now…
12 comments:
Are you talking about Feminist Mormon Housewives? I go through spurts of interest in it. Some of the postings are really great, many of the comments are not. I don't think the commenters realize that the bandwagon negativity is the same thing as the cultural aspects they're trying to defy: continued thoughtlessness. On the same token, I've really appreciated many of the thoughtful comments on interesting posts I've read. I was very disappointed in the comments about Richard G. Scott's talk. It's no secret that some of the general authorities use flowery language. The fact that they jumped all over one such occurrence, rather than really appreciating what he was doing (paying his wife such a sweet compliment) made me stop reading. There were plenty of others who interjected otherwise. I think many women who post the most negative comments haven't found their niche and FMH is the place they go to feel like they fit in with any other woman in the church - it's just unfortunate the way they go about doing it.
BrieAnn,
It is FMH. I'm not an avid follower, but they are on my radar every now and then. And it is true they have some good posts. I really appreciated the couple on objectifying women. The comments bothered me so much this go round I had to put my opinion somewhere.
While I don't know the women who are responsible for the site, I hope they realize their message boards have a tendency of becoming a complaining station, which I hope was not their objective. I really think it could be handled differently.
Thank you for always keeping your posts so positive and uplifting. I appreciate you reading your testimony of many aspects of the Gospel. And, your love of motherhood and womanhood inspires me. Thank you for this great post. Love ya!
Thank you for your comments. I feel so much better when I hear a positive side of things. We all find what we are looking for--if we look for the negative, we find it, and the same with the positive. I think of the comment from conference a few years ago--if the church is true, then what else matters? We have to evaluate our testimonies, and understand that maybe, if we knew more of what God knows or intends for us, we would understand more of what His servants, the apostles, are saying and why. I am thankful for my role as a wife and mother, as a daughter and sister, as a female being. I trust that as I ask for heavenly help in understanding the leaders and messages of conference or church or stake conference, I will be blessed with peace about what I need to do to go forward in my life. The Priesthood is a blessing in my life each and every day.
It's funny, I have never once felt "less than" in the church. In fact it has probably been quite the opposite - I feel like we are put up on a pedestal and revered as something really special! So when I hear women complain I feel bad because I don't think they realize their full potential in God's eyes. If he intended us to have the Priesthood, we would.
As for people criticizing or questioning the church leaders, that is just plain scary to me. They know what they are doing and God wouldn't have placed them in their positions if He didn't think they should be there.
It's too bad all women can't see how we are different yet equal. I really enjoyed your point of view and this post! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
All I can say is amen. I have never felt gypped or cheated because I am a girl in the church. I agree with the last comment on here that I feel very special in the church. I think too often we try to make ourselves "equal" with men instead of just being the wonderful women we can be. It's like wanting to be the popular girl in junior high instead of being grateful to be you. Thanks for your great insight though Larae!
After last general conference (October), a lot of people complained about one talk in particular. The founder of the blog wrote a really great post about how this was a place to question and grow, not attack general authorities. Some of the readers responded just as negative as ever to her post, but most applauded it. Unfortunately, for something like that to exist, it has to exist to even the mad people in the world.
I love this post! I think we all have to evaluate if our actions are building the church or tearing it down. Many have strong enough testimonies to be able to have a productive argument about the quirky "culture" rules of the church, but it can be damaging to others who are struggling. A perfect gospel being administered by imperfect people. That's what we have to remember!
I spent the weekend with my brother in law and his wife who are not LDS and had the discussion of the family and how essential it is that there is a man and a woman who each play their own role. I was proud to be from a church who understands the essential and divine role of each gender. Thanks for posting this.
I LOVED conference...even though in Germany we had to wait so long to get the talks. It was so neat & inspiring listening to men & women of God and hear their strong testimonies! It bothers the heck out of me when I hear people "attack" the church & the different roles people have and don't have.
At least there are people like you who have a strong conviction that this is true and I know the lady that blogged about this has some other thing(s) in her life that are on the wrong course.
Thank you Larae!
sorry, I have been thinking about a couple more things...people hear what they want to hear - everybody has their own issues they deal with...that puts in into perspective. at least I think so
the comment from Nate was Maggie... :0~
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