Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Grace's Choice

Grace had her ears pierced yesterday.

I have one happy 11 year old! She has been waiting for this day since she was 7! That's a lot of years of, "Mom, can I get my ears pierced?"
My answer was always the same. "Ask your father. He has to be okay with it." This would break her heart, but I wasn't about to say yes to something Dustin was so against.
Dustin's family traditions don't include piercing your ears. I understand why and I agree with it, to a point. Your body is a special gift, so why do you want to put holes in it?What's the difference between a hole in your nose, or a hole in your ear?These are the questions he'd ask me and Grace both. Hard to argue with.
 Dustin and I have had this battle for years. Neither one would budge. Grace was left without a real answer. I think it confused her that we never agreed. I felt strongly that I was saying no to something I could say yes to. There are going to be a lot of nos in the coming future. I want to be able to say yes as much as possible.
A few weeks ago Dustin took Grace on a little daddy-daughter date to the U of U gymnastics meet. Grace had been wanting to ask him again for quite a while, but she told me every time she went to ask him, he would get mad at another kid for something and she knew it was bad timing- smart girl! So here they were coming home, stuck in traffic during a snow storm. Dustin said she got real quiet and just asked, "Dad, can I get my ears pierced?"
He asked back, "Why? Grace, why do you want your ears pierced?" He said her eyes welled up with tears and she explained that all her friends have earrings. He said they had a good talk about doing things because friends do them. Then he shared out of the scriptures where it talks about our bodies being bought with a price. He explained how he felt our bodies are not ours, just on loan. And asked her if she gave somebody a gift, and then they turned around and put holes into it, how she would feel? Everything he's ever said to her before, but then said this, "If this is something you want, then I want you to pray to know if it's right. Since it's your body, whatever answer you get, I WILL SUPPORT."
Boy did she take the challenge! She studied the scriptures he gave, prayed, and wrote her feelings in her journal. She went all out! Dustin asked several times if she had made a decision yet. She would reply, "I'm still working on it, Dad." She thought and prayed for over a week. When she had felt she had her answer, she told him, "I'm going to do it."
I was waiting for him to try to talk her out of it, but it never happened. My heart was happy. Happy for Grace. Happy for a husband who was letting my daughter decide for herself and not making her feel guilty about her choice. Happy that I had a daughter who is strong. She knew what her dad wanted, but didn't let that scare her. Happy that I had a daughter who knew how to make choices. Just plain happy!!
I stole a peek at her journal. It was a wonderful thing to read. At first she wasn't sure what to do, but as each day went by, she was sure. Then she was scared, but I read this:
"I'm scared to get my ears pierced. I'm afraid it will hurt. But I know if this is something Heavenly Father will let me do, I know he'll be with me. I don't have to be afraid."
At the store I was holding her hand. She was terrified. I was about to tell here to just say a little prayer. Before I could, she closed her eyes. She didn't tell me she was praying, but I figured she was. When they opened, she was more calm. She finally let the women do it. They gave her the mirror when she was done. She was beaming! She left that store with a beautiful pair of blue earrings and knowing she could do hard things.
 I left that store with a happy 11 year-old that I knew would do great things!!


Maggie & Nate said...


That is great about Dustin giving her that opportunity to get the answer herself & her working for it. It will help her in her life knowing how to do it & she won't be so confused when she needs to get an answer.
I read her journal entry & it made me cry, it helps my testimony grow & gives me courage.

i said...

They look so pretty on such a beautiful young lady. ;) I love that entry too!