Forty is so Close I can Almost Lick It

I just celebrated my 38th birthday. 38!! This birthday left me feeling really old. I was told a bazillion times how old I really am not, but it' didn't help in my feeling that I'm old. For crying out loud, I have 6 kids, been married for (almost) 18 years, and next year my oldest child will graduate from high school. The real kicker was when I really thought about how fast the last ten years went and that the next 10 will probably come quicker, I realized my 5th child will be 19 1/2. Guys, I'm no spring chicken!! But, I've decided that that's okay.

I think about the last ten years. When I turned 28, my fourth child was 6 months old. Little did I know that in a month, I would be pregnant with my 5th child. I was in the whirlwind of mothering 4 little ones ranging in age from 6 to infant. I was tired. I was overwhelmed. I felt defeated a lot of the time. Looking back, however, I realize that I was enjoying myself. I can hear my kids' voices in my head and a smile comes to my face. I remember teaching them colors, to count, to read, and we sang, "The Wheels on the Bus" at least 12 times a day because Daddy rode the bus. It was hard work. But, who says hard work is bad? Those moments brought me joy then; their memories bring me joy now. I'm grateful for that joy.




(Pretty sure this is the only picture I have of me at 28. I would be prego by the end of the month)

So much growth happens as you get older. I am thankful for that. As much as I would love for one more day to be 28, I'm happy to be 38. I'm pleased that the in the last ten years, my then 6 year old is now 16 and he is growing into a fine young man. He wore a suit coat for the first time today and I wanted to cry, but I didn't. He has set a goal to serve a mission and is spending a lot of time with our local missionaries between school and work. I don't make him. He chooses to do it! Our then 5 year-old is now 15 and is a hard worker that never sits. He is always willing to do anything. I started to do the dishes and he simply said, "Mom, go sit down. I'll do the dishes." I didn't let him because he does that all the time. Instead I just asked if he would entertain the baby until I was done. He did. Our three year old in this picture is now a 13 year old young lady! I'll admit it, she is in the middle of what I want to call,  "13 year-old attitude". So far, they have all gone through it. I know it will get better. She, however, is a straight A student who works really hard at everything she does. She's a perfectionist and I admire that about her. She recently chose to receive her Patriarchal Blessing and has studied it a lot and is trying do understand what she needs to to do to become the woman it  describes. I have no doubt that she can do it! That tiny, cute, always happy baby on my lap is now 10. She is a beautiful talented young lady who is currently playing soccer and the trumpet. She is on the student council. She is working really hard in deciding what she likes and what she doesn't. If she doesn't like it, she lets you know. She reminds me of myself, not only in looks, but everything else!

Since this photo, we have added two children to the bunch. I have a 9 year old who is energetic, smart, and sassy. She loves soccer. She loves writing and singing. She loves life and people. Discovering that she would join the family and would be born while I was still 28 was shocking. I really didn't know how I would be the mom I wanted to be. But she makes being a mom so easy. She has brought nothing but laughter to any mom situation. Mom's can always use laughter. Baby six wouldn't join us for 7 more years after her, but we sure are glad he came. I was terrified! In fact, I'm still recovering from him. However, he is nothing but pure joy, even right in the middle of being a toddler. The mom in that picture didn't get to enjoy the toddler stage. I actually loathed it back then. Now, I relish every minute of it because I understand how fleeting it is. In 10 years, he will be 12 and she will be 19.

Since I know those 10 years will be here before I know it, I'm just going to enjoy being 38. I'm going to love the stages of teen, pre-teen, and toddler. When I start to complain, I'll stop myself. I'll remind myself that soon I'll be 48 and will look back on what I did with the last ten years. I want to be able to look back with joy, knowing I did all I could to make life worth while for them. That's a hard job, but I know it will be a gratifying job if I do it right. 

First picture of  38. I'll remind myself to be in more pictures