When He Knows Better Than You

This entry is very hard for me to write. I have been avoiding it. But, it's time.

The other day I was talking to some neighbors about how difficult it was to find out I was pregnant with Britten. It was hard. I had my family the way I wanted it and was ready to move past pregnancy, weight gain, sleepless nights, potty training, temper tantrums. We had moved past! Our 5th child was 6 and a half. I think the picture is set- I did not want to be pregnant.

I remember when I told Dustin. He fell to his knees like he was going to pass out. I don't think either one of us was scared to have another baby, or wondering how we were going to have another child. We just plain and simple did not want another child.  It breaks my heart as I write this, but it is honestly the way we felt.

I would like to shout from the roof tops, "I AM SO GRATEFUL WE HAVE OUR BRITTEN!!" We were wrong.  We did need another child. Dustin and I often talk about how old we are, but how having Britten makes us  feel young. He keeps us playful. When this home is full of teenage drama, here comes Britten with his cute dimples and happy eyes asking, "Will you play with me?" 

I watch my teenagers play superheroes, Candy Land, Trouble, cars, school. They do it without being asked. They want to play with him because I think it gives them a reason to go back in time and pretend all that matters is if Spider-Man beats the bad guy, or what color of car you want to play with today. Britten takes the worries of growing up away for a few moments. He reminds us to stay young, at least for now.

Yes, I was wrong. I thank the Heavens everyday for this baby. Everyday!