Every stay-at-home mom has those days (maybe longer) when you just don't feel as though you matter, make a difference, or even count sometimes (if you never do, please don't tell me). The monotony sometimes swallows me up and I assume I'm trapped, stuck, forever in it.
Last week I received a phone call from a former employer. When I was 19, I worked for a daycare. I was the preschool teacher and I loved it! The kids were always so happy to be there, most of the time. The daycare was located in a lower-income area. Some of the kids' needs were not met as well as they should have been. I remember sitting and brushing their hair getting them ready for the day. On a number of occasions I would end up driving some home for the mom. I cared about these kids! Anyway, back to my story...
She called me wondering If I would consider coming back for half a day, 8-12. I was flattered by the offer but quickly came up with reasons why I couldn't. She said she understood, but would love if I came to see what she has done with the center and chat with her a while. I agreed.
When I arrived, I couldn't believe how much had changed. She had greatly improved the facility and as I walked around I was thinking how great it was for the kids. We went into her office and talked. She told me how great she thought I would be. She had remembered that I loved teaching. She was right, I did love teaching. She told me the pay would be about $800/mo. Who couldn't use an extra $800? She also would allow me to bring my daughter and my nephew& niece, who I already watch, free of charge. Very tempting.
I told her I would give it a lot of thought and talk it over with my husband, gave her a hug, and left.
Dustin and I tossed the idea around all weekend long. We thought how nice the extra money would be, if his sister didn't mind. We could probably afford to build the house we've been hoping for. We started getting a little excited. Then reality set in.
Having a job would be more demanding of my time. It would also take me from home. Even though the kids would be with me, they wouldn't have my full attention. I would have to give up my gym in the morning. I would have somebody telling me what to do. My schedule would no longer be flexible to my liking. The list went on and on. I was now confused.
I prayed to know. Nothing. What does that mean? Prayed some more and still the same feeling. Now I'm even more confused and a little frustrated. "What should I do?" That's the thought that kept nagging at me all weekend long.
Sunday night, after all family had left, Dustin and I were able to talk about it again. Monday came. She needed her answer today. I was still going crazy. I hadn't talked to Dustin's sister, or the mom of the baby I watch part time. I really didn't know what to do.
I have always planned on working when my kids were older, not because I would have too, but because I enjoy it. I couldn't think of a better part time job to have when I start school. It would be so nice and I know they would be flexible. I needed to clear my head, so I went to the gym.
When I got back, I asked Dustin what he thought. He said this, (I will never forget it):
"Larae, it's funny. While you were gone I missed you. Then I started thinking about you having to be gone everyday. I love it when you are here. It's nice."
That was all I needed. I called her and said, "Not this time, but maybe in the future."
One day I would like to find myself in the workforce again, but the feeling of being wanted and needed in my home out weighs everything!
Last week I received a phone call from a former employer. When I was 19, I worked for a daycare. I was the preschool teacher and I loved it! The kids were always so happy to be there, most of the time. The daycare was located in a lower-income area. Some of the kids' needs were not met as well as they should have been. I remember sitting and brushing their hair getting them ready for the day. On a number of occasions I would end up driving some home for the mom. I cared about these kids! Anyway, back to my story...
She called me wondering If I would consider coming back for half a day, 8-12. I was flattered by the offer but quickly came up with reasons why I couldn't. She said she understood, but would love if I came to see what she has done with the center and chat with her a while. I agreed.
When I arrived, I couldn't believe how much had changed. She had greatly improved the facility and as I walked around I was thinking how great it was for the kids. We went into her office and talked. She told me how great she thought I would be. She had remembered that I loved teaching. She was right, I did love teaching. She told me the pay would be about $800/mo. Who couldn't use an extra $800? She also would allow me to bring my daughter and my nephew& niece, who I already watch, free of charge. Very tempting.
I told her I would give it a lot of thought and talk it over with my husband, gave her a hug, and left.
Dustin and I tossed the idea around all weekend long. We thought how nice the extra money would be, if his sister didn't mind. We could probably afford to build the house we've been hoping for. We started getting a little excited. Then reality set in.
Having a job would be more demanding of my time. It would also take me from home. Even though the kids would be with me, they wouldn't have my full attention. I would have to give up my gym in the morning. I would have somebody telling me what to do. My schedule would no longer be flexible to my liking. The list went on and on. I was now confused.
I prayed to know. Nothing. What does that mean? Prayed some more and still the same feeling. Now I'm even more confused and a little frustrated. "What should I do?" That's the thought that kept nagging at me all weekend long.
Sunday night, after all family had left, Dustin and I were able to talk about it again. Monday came. She needed her answer today. I was still going crazy. I hadn't talked to Dustin's sister, or the mom of the baby I watch part time. I really didn't know what to do.
I have always planned on working when my kids were older, not because I would have too, but because I enjoy it. I couldn't think of a better part time job to have when I start school. It would be so nice and I know they would be flexible. I needed to clear my head, so I went to the gym.
When I got back, I asked Dustin what he thought. He said this, (I will never forget it):
"Larae, it's funny. While you were gone I missed you. Then I started thinking about you having to be gone everyday. I love it when you are here. It's nice."
That was all I needed. I called her and said, "Not this time, but maybe in the future."
One day I would like to find myself in the workforce again, but the feeling of being wanted and needed in my home out weighs everything!
4 comments:
It's so nice to feel like we are needed and wanted. I've tossed the idea of getting a job outside of my home more times than not, and I always get the same answer. I enjoyed reading this post :)!
My principal called me the following school year after Cora was born, after I'd "retired." She offered me a job, and I toiled over it, even though I knew what the right answer was. Feeling wanted was so validating! "You mean, you want me, the one who can't remember if she brushed her teeth today?"
Jake said something similar about liking me at home, how it gave him a sense of peace knowing that our baby was well cared for and that I was taking care of our home. It sealed the deal.
Oh what a sweet story. Yeah. There will be time in the future...I bet the money was so tempting though!
I'm glad you posted this! It's easy to forget how nice it is for our husband and children to know we're there and have us around.
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