Gratitude

I've been feeling extremely grateful for this wonderful family I've been given. It's always nice when I actually stop and reflect. I can't believe all that I've been given and it's so easy to take it all for granted. When you are busy living life you sometimes forget to stop and take it all in. I know I have. I'm not doing to good on  my goal to LIVE this year. 

We are approaching the half mark for this year- can you believe it? I'm going to refocus and live for what really counts. I don't want to look back and realize I was too busy with unimportant things and can't remember the important ones.

I haven't written as much as I like or taken enough pictures. I'll sahre what I have and try to do better in the future.

Our Life in April

We visited a local park...

Britten ate pb&j for the first time (I threw in some of a banana too)

We celebrated Easter (kind of I ended up out of town and coming home Easter morning. We never made it to church!)

The week before was our neighborhood Easter egg hunt. Ryan had to work so he wasn't there. The rest of us got to watch Britten's first Easter egg hunt!

Not My Words, But Ever so Much My Heart

I came across this article. The author spoke exactly what I have felt. It is all about the Ordain Women organization that is asking for the priesthood to be given to the women of the church. Now, I do have to let it be known, I am not against women having the priesthood if that is what is to be revealed through those set apart to receive such revelation. In fact, I love doing initiatory work in the temple.  Not only am I promised such tremendous blessings through the priesthood, but it is women who are the Lord's mouthpiece promising them to me! I really don't understand how these women have overlooked this great blessing. Instead of rejoicing in it, they are not satisfied and it's not good enough. 

Anyway, I'll stop talking and just let you read the link.

Ordain or Else

You'll have to tell me what you think!

Aching For My Daughter

I find it ironic that last night I was all positive and this next post is anything but! Such is the life of being a mother....

Occasionally I will steal my kids' handheld devices and take a peek at what's on them- I'm one of those moms. Tonight it was Grace's iPod.  I searched thorough it, all of it. It made me really, REALLY sad. It also left me mad and determined to do something for her.

After scrolling through an enormous amount of text messages (who knew 12 year-olds had so much to talk about), and even more Instagram posts, I discovered that my daughter doesn't think she's beautiful. Not only that, she's dying for someone to tell her! I thought this would be something I would never have to worry about because 1) her dad tells her all the time how pretty she is and 2) I never felt that way growing up, so she should too, right? WRONG!

This mom has just been schooled about kids "now-a-days" and how social media just might have more pull than you would like.

Holy cow! Kids are competitive!  Her text massages were nothing but preteen girls looking for the others' approval. 

"Oh, you're so gorgeous! I wish I was as beautiful as you- insert sad face"

"Oh whatever! You're sooooooooooooooooooo gorgeous- insert happy face"

or this one:

Please rate me! Above would be different things they can post to rate how great, how beautiful, how wonderful, blah, blah, blah, blah...

then I'd read a text:

"You're so lucky he put that for you. He didn't put anything for me. I wish he thought I was pretty."

My heart sank. I felt like I had failed my daughter. I never recall thinking I was not good enough or pretty enough. ME! I have always felt comfortable in my own skin. ME! The girl with the chubby legs, yellow teeth, and a slight mustache growing above her lip! These were all insecurities I had, but I always knew I was pretty. I'm 50 lbs heavier than I was in high school, but I still feel I'm pretty! So how can my daughter who is thin, has gorgeous green eyes, and totally lacking facial hair not feel that way?! How did she not get the message I was trying to send by always being confident, happy, and quiet about the weight I had gained?

I've decided that being a quiet example just might not be good enough now. Our kids have things screaming at them that they need to do better, be better, look better. I decided this mom needs to be louder than those ugly voices, text messages, or photo posts. 

So, I was!

It was 11:00 at night, but I marched to her room where she was sleeping and I woke her - it took a little while.

Me: Grace, do you not feel you're pretty?

Grace: (she shakes her head no)

Me: Why? What makes you feel that way?

Grace: I don't know. I just feel it sometimes.

Me: Grace, you are beautiful! Don't let anyone, or anything, make you feel differently. Who cares if some boy doesn't think you're pretty. All that matters is how you feel about yourself. I want you to start looking at yourself different. I want you to tell yourself how pretty you are. You don't need any one's approval. You are perfect the way your are! 

It was short and sweet and to the point. I think she got it. I hope she got it! If not, I don't know what else to do...I guess keep telling her. Eventually she'll believe me.

 

 

How does she not see it?

A New Chapter In Motherhood

Every now and then I get all sentimental while looking at my kids. Today was one of those days. What sparked it? My 16 year-old walking into the door of his new place of employment! I can't believe one of my kids is old enough to work. Well, old enough to work and get paid by someone other than me. 

I'll tell you it was a little like sending him off to his first day of school. I was worried  he'd be nervous. I was worried his boss might be mean. I was worried about what type of people he would be working with. Would they be nice to him? It all seems so silly. He's sixteen, not six! But I'm a mom. Mom's are like that sometimes.

I asked Ryan how it was when I picked him up- he's working to save money to drive. He really likes it. He worked the grill and firer. He was burned a couple of times. He said he was slow at first, but by the end of the night had found his groove. I'm glad he enjoys working. I'm glad he's building a good work ethic. If he keeps it up, I have no doubt that he can move up and succeed at whatever he chooses.

I've decided that instead of lamenting my children getting older, I'm going to find the joy in it. I choose to be happy about it. I hear lots of moms say they are sad that their babies are growing up.While it's true that I miss their cute little smiles and tiny voices- I still remember the way Ryan would say, "Silly Soccer," a game Aaron got for Christmas in 2003- I don't think that's the real reason. What I think we, as moms, might really be mourning is their shrinking dependence on us. Now that they are big, they no longer need us. Where do we fit in their new found independence?

Ryan may not need me to tie his shoes anymore, or blow his nose, or check his face to make sure it's clean. He now needs me to ask him how his day was, teach him the importance of being on time, following through with his commitments, or why he should tuck his shirt in at work. I'm still needed, I just don't have to take care of him physically like I used to.  I'm excited for Ryan! I'm excited to see where his life takes him. I may not be the center of his world anymore, but I plan on being a big part of it!