During the day I am in complete "mommy mode." My thoughts center around my children and their needs. I guess while I'm at work they focus on the 32 pre-schoolers I have the pleasure of teaching, but same diff in my mind.
Once everyone is in bed, husband included, I have the luxury of having my mind back. It thinks Larae thoughts and envisions Larae dreams. Oh how I cherish that time (even though it is quite brief because I am soon drifting off to sleep)!
A lot of times those thoughts are about my "brothers and sisters" inside my church who are struggling to find where they belong. I really don't know why. Maybe because of all the blogs that exisit out there and the surge in media stories about it? I don't know. A big part of me really wants to understand where they are coming from. Why we view things so differntly.
Tonight I came across an entry on one of the blogs. It made me sad. It was the wife of an old friend from jr high. He was one of my best friends (and boyfriend at one point)! He is now an athiest and she is still searching for her place in our church. I know being sad is not what they want me to feel becuase they are okay with where they are at. But, I still am.
Sometimes I wish things wouldn't change when we grow up. Friends and memories could stay just like you remember them, like my old dear friend from jr. high. How I would love to talk to him. Ask him questions. I wonder if it would offend him? We were such good friends; I hope not, but sometimes I am so opinionated. I can offend without intending. I would hope that he would remember that and have a little compassion. Afterall, he was our high school valedictorian and on our debate team. He would wipe the floor with me if I ever got in a debate with him! I just wish him and his wife the peace they are wanting.