Have you ever wondered if you were doing the right thing? I know I have. I have always wanted to be a mom, but sometimes it is so challenging I question myself. I can honestly say it is the HARDEST thing I have ever done. Some of you might think I'm crazy! I know there are those women who just think it is WONDERFUL. They are always able to focus on the positive and see the rainbow through the clouds. I'm not (always) one of those people. I try to be.
So is it a bad thing that motherhood is so hard for me? I don't think so. I think it was meant to be that way. We learn through struggle. I believe I will become the person I was meant to be just by simply being a mother. I realize there are some who will never have that opportunity in this life, but for me it was needed.
Why all this talk? I follow a family that used to be in our stake. I met Greg playing volleyball with other people from our stake. His wife is amazing to me, and I have never met her, just Greg. They travel the world with their family serving. You can read about them here. I would love to do this. I would love to travel, spending my days serving and taking in all the beauties this Earth has to offer. I used to get frustrated about this. I guess you could say I was jealous.
One day it occurred to me that while I was not going around the world serving strangers, there were people in my home who need me more. My kids, my husband. If I want to spend my days serving someone, SERVE THEM!! I could learn and be all I wanted to be by focusing on them.
I hope one day I will have the chance to go somewhere and serve in some far, distant, remote land (I'm hoping for a humanitarian mission when we are older), but for now I'm grateful for the blessing of being a mother and wife. They need me and I need them if I'm going to be who He wants me to be!!
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3 comments:
I know exactly how you feel. I love being a mom. But somedays I feel like I'm not contributing to the world...but actually I am. I am helping raise good kids that will make this world a better place. And you're a great mom. Don't ever sell yourself short of that!!!
I am so with you on this one! Recently, I had to ask myself why I was resenting the very thing (being a mother) that I had dreamed of becoming my whole life. I realized I had poor 'mommy vision'--I had let my frustrations pile up so high that I had lost vision of what I was ultimately trying to accomplish. So I am working on cleaning my 'mommy glasses' and even thinking about having 'mommy lasik' :) And eventually, someday, I know I'm going to be able to say it was worth it!
Well, I am usually having challenges in motherhood with my one child. I mean, the other kids go through normal phases, but this one is SO HARD. It was good to read your post and I HOPE that I am becoming the person I was meant to be because honestly, I question myseslf almost every day as to wether I handled a situation right. I think you have a wonderful family. You are a strong and stable base for your husband and children and in my opinion, you do SO MUCH for them!!
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