Angels??

My Mommy blindfold was torn off today, and shredded into a million pieces!!

Aaron came upstairs and told me that Ryan had said some awful words to him. To quote (please know that I don't normally talk this way) "suck my crap" is what he said to his brother. I was in shock!! How on earth could one of my sweet little boys say such a nasty thing?

I had Ryan come up immediately. I told him that I did not appreciate that kind of talk. I didn't know what else to do, so I resorted to the old soap on a toothbrush to "wash his mouth out." (something I told my self I would never do) After much gagging and rinsing, I asked Ryan where he had ever heard such talk. He told me he heard some 6th graders say it at school (6th graders, uuugh). I asked that he would not talk that way, and sent him back to bed. End of story? Nnnooo!

Aaron came back up to tattle on himself about a half an hour later. "Mom, I said something mean to Ryan when we were fighting," he explained. I asked why he didn't mention that to begin with. "I don't know," was his reply (I hate that "I don't know").

"What did you say?" I asked.

"I wish that he was dead," he reported.My heart sank! I can't believe this is the way they choose to talk to one another when they are upset. I started wondering if we set a bad example, but I don't walk around telling people to eat my bodily discharge and that I wish they were no longer living. Dustin either. What do I do?

I explained to Aaron once words leave your mouth it is really hard to take them back. I made him put 2 strikes on his chart (to them way worse than getting soap I'm sure) and sent him back to bed.

I felt like I couldn't leave it at that. How am I supposed to transplant into their growing brains the proper way to speak to one another, or anyone? Did they do this out of ignorance? Not really understanding the affects words can have on people.

I had them both come up this time and asked them why they thought it was alright to talk that way. I made sure they understood "I don't know" was not an answer. Ryan informed me that they always say, "I wish you were dead" when they were mad at each other. I explained that maybe they think the other knows that they don't really mean it, but after a while if you keep saying it they will start to believe that you mean it (does that make sense?). I continued to lecture the normal stuff you would say about talking nice, but I hope they truly understand.

I grew up in a home where we fought and got angry, I get that, but I don't recall ever talking like that to someone in my family. If I did, it probably would have been said to Alissa (only because we fought the most), so Alissa let me know if I am suffering from amnesia. If I did, I did not mean it. (I guess that sounds familiar)

So, what's a mom to do? How do I cure this ugly talk, and teach them how to handle their anger without resorting to spouting out mean words they truly don't mean? I need some input!!!

They have always been so loving!!

Are those days over?