Letting Go

There are a few moments, thus far, that have reminded me that I am not in charge of my children. For example, when their first day of school comes and they tell you they can walk and wait all by themselves, when they learn that THEY, not you, can pick out what they want to wear, and when you get the first, "because I wanted to." These frustrating, but "light bulb" moments, jog your memory that these little guys are their own little person, and don't need your help once they reach a certain age. Another one happened today...

Grace did her own hair.








While I told her she looked beautiful and that she did a fabulous job, I have to confess that deep down inside I was crying, screaming!! My daughter is going to school with her hair like that! Oh, the agony! (Sorry if you feel I'm being a little dramatic, but it was hard for me to let go of this one) How am I going to get through this? I quickly struck a deal.


"Grace, how 'bout if you get to do your own hair on Tuesdays and Thursdays? Then I'll do your hair the other days of the week." What a clever plan. This way the teacher will be aware that we are not homeless and she has a mother who cares that she is presentable. It's a win-win!
"Sure, Mama," she said. She is always so agreeable. Most kids are if you give them a little control.

I realize sometimes I'm a micro-manager. I must learn to change that as my kids get bigger, otherwise, I will be one unhappy mama.
*Luckily this has not taken a full affect on my boys. Ryan did ask to do his own hair the same day, but he was blessed with wavy hair and it gets out of control. He asked for my help! Aaron can do his hair pretty good, but still likes me combing it. You won't hear me complaining, until they choose to do theirs as well!

Handsome boys!

Comments

The Bach 10 said…
Great post. I have been trying to let go of things for years now and feel better about letting the kids have freedom to do many things the way they want. But remember we get to stay home most days so no one really sees when Tiffany picks her own outfits and Teralyn does her own hair. Good lesson!! If you have any hand me downs we would love them!!
April 17, 2009 at 10:12 AM
Audrey Taylor said…
I am not a micro-manager. I think my children are very ornery about how their hair is and what they are wearing. We DO look homeless because my kids fight to not get their hair done. Rachel wants to wear a dress every day so all of her once-pretty dresses are stained and wearing out. They have strong personalities and I do care what they look like, but I care about their personalities more. For now I just try to start them off clean each morning!
April 17, 2009 at 11:53 AM
Shauna said…
Mikayla started wanting to do her own hair probably around Grace's age. I just had to let her. It was a little easier because I was not the creative one with doing hair. :) Now I have another child that doesn't want her hair done and doesn't want to brush it!
April 17, 2009 at 2:58 PM
Jayleen said…
I'm a micro-manager through and through. It's been really hard for me to let things just go and let my kids try things on their own without me being in the middle correcting every step. I'm getting better and feel more peace within myself to "let it go". Your kids are cute no matter what their hair looks like :).
April 17, 2009 at 3:03 PM
Darrell and Alissa said…
What kind of maother are you, letting your daughter leave the house like that?! HA HA! I dread that! Luckily my kids HATE having hair in their faces so they like me to do it so it stays back tight. I am a total micro manager- I taught them to do their hair one day and the next day they asked if they could do it again alone- I said no- I am a mean mean mom!!But Saturday is the day they get to do their hair, even if we go somewhere I have to remind myself not to worry about their hair- it's hard for us micro managers I guess- letting go stinks!
By the way- Grace did a really good job on her hair- and she ALWAYS looks cute!
April 17, 2009 at 3:13 PM
Salena said…
I have the same problem with my oldest. It drives me crazy because she is "always right" and moms don't know anything. She is the same way with her clothes. Apparently moms don’t have any fashion sense. :)
April 17, 2009 at 4:40 PM
ChicChat said…
At least Grace wants her hair done. Kamri could care less. I totally agree that letting my kids make their own choices makes me sad. But I guess thats the only way to learn. Ü
April 17, 2009 at 8:30 PM
Kristin said…
I applaud you for telling Grace she looked beautiful and for letting her wear her hair like that to school. It may very well be a day she remembers all her life. I had a day exactly like that myself when I was 6 or 7. I thought my hair looked FABULOUS. I did it myself (a pony tail, too), and I was SO proud. I remember my mom liked it, and so did my aunt who saw it that day. I even have a picture of it--it was my mom's preschool picture day, I think, that I chose to do my own pony tail for the first time. A few years later, I saw that picture and remembered how great I and everyone else thought my hair looked, and I laughed. It looked a lot like Grace's. However, I have always been grateful for the positive reinforcement I received that day, and it may be one of the reasons that experience led to doing hair being one of my talents. You wouldn't know I have a talent for doing hair from looking at Shayla's hair most of the time. That's because my first pony tail experience was a profound one for me, and I do my best to do the same for her that my mom and aunt did for me. They gave me the freedom to learn, grow, experiment, and progress in a very safe environment. :) I can understand it being hard for you to let go, but it's worth it!

By the way, that picture of your kids is SOOOOO... cool! I like your new background, too.

You're awesome! Miss you!
April 18, 2009 at 7:39 AM
i said…
i bet she felt sooo proud!
April 19, 2009 at 7:14 PM
BrieAnn said…
I think it's neat that she thinks she should do it. Doing my hair when I was little consisted of just combing it when I got out of the shower. Grandpa Irl was actually the one who lovingly hinted that my hair would look cute with some barrettes in it. (Imagine him pretend putting barrettes in his own hair while giving me the advice).

I think her "do" would have been perfect with a clip holding back that part that didn't make it into the back ponytail. ;) And I like the idea of giving her designated do-it-herself days. I'm gonna put that one in my pocket for later.
April 19, 2009 at 7:51 PM
thecustercrew said…
Good for Grace. It took me forever to get Kylea to do her own hair. She'll get better fast. And kudos to you for letting her out of the house:)
April 21, 2009 at 12:33 AM
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